My Vocalize class really went well today. (haha, understatement of the year)
I don’t know, maybe I just thought of all the high school stuff that goes on when you’re addressing your peers and when there’s something, ya know, serious that you’re working on and everyone just doesn’t seem to get it but… it wasn’t there. It was wonderful. The class was such a safe environment for workshopping. I really really felt that when Kate started bringing up some really heavy emotions and cried on stage. That was really amazing. Because it wasn’t shocking at all and we were all very helpful with her – not critical or giggly, but just really happy that she could go there and come back. She says she’s never cried when she read it off the page, but that once she memorized it… that was just a powerful moment.
My own experience was not as extreme, but when I went up there and worked on two of my favorite poems (which were also, consequently, the hardest ones to work on) I really felt welcome. Maybe I’m a different person in these outside classes versus who I am at school [in fact, I know I am. why do I even have to say ‘maybe’?] Not to be repetitive, but it’ll be nice to get out of the high school atmosphere so I can be that person I like more often. To the poems, I think I realized that I am not being as crazy as I think I am when I read them to myself. A lot of what I learned was to really trust my instincts – because they’re good, they just need practice. The other thing was that I had to face the devil in my pauses. x_x I learned… pauses aren’t awkward for the audience! They’re just awkward to stand up there and feel the pause. I have to practice that. The main thing is to keep an image of enjoyment in your mind to sustain a calm pause and not a twitchy one. *must work on that*
I think I’m going to go to Cheap Wine & Poetry on Thursday. Maybe I’ll do a piece on the open mic. Maybe I’ll bring a friend.
That’s another thing. I think I’ve totally gotten over everything (I’m probably lying to myself again, but as of this moment…) In terms of letting everything out and, you know, trying my best not to care anymore. It’s a nice release-like feeling. But I’ve probably screwed up. I’ll see how it is next week. I just don’t want to be the only one working for a better friendship, so I must see where he’s at too.
Last note: I have such a paranoia about my music choices! GAH! I love a lot of pop. I admit it. 90’s – mid-2000s, I’m totally there. Motion City Soundtrack, New Radicals, Garbage, I love you!
[mock me if you will, non-conforming conformist rock people!]
I don’t know, maybe I just thought of all the high school stuff that goes on when you’re addressing your peers and when there’s something, ya know, serious that you’re working on and everyone just doesn’t seem to get it but… it wasn’t there. It was wonderful. The class was such a safe environment for workshopping. I really really felt that when Kate started bringing up some really heavy emotions and cried on stage. That was really amazing. Because it wasn’t shocking at all and we were all very helpful with her – not critical or giggly, but just really happy that she could go there and come back. She says she’s never cried when she read it off the page, but that once she memorized it… that was just a powerful moment.
My own experience was not as extreme, but when I went up there and worked on two of my favorite poems (which were also, consequently, the hardest ones to work on) I really felt welcome. Maybe I’m a different person in these outside classes versus who I am at school [in fact, I know I am. why do I even have to say ‘maybe’?] Not to be repetitive, but it’ll be nice to get out of the high school atmosphere so I can be that person I like more often. To the poems, I think I realized that I am not being as crazy as I think I am when I read them to myself. A lot of what I learned was to really trust my instincts – because they’re good, they just need practice. The other thing was that I had to face the devil in my pauses. x_x I learned… pauses aren’t awkward for the audience! They’re just awkward to stand up there and feel the pause. I have to practice that. The main thing is to keep an image of enjoyment in your mind to sustain a calm pause and not a twitchy one. *must work on that*
I think I’m going to go to Cheap Wine & Poetry on Thursday. Maybe I’ll do a piece on the open mic. Maybe I’ll bring a friend.
That’s another thing. I think I’ve totally gotten over everything (I’m probably lying to myself again, but as of this moment…) In terms of letting everything out and, you know, trying my best not to care anymore. It’s a nice release-like feeling. But I’ve probably screwed up. I’ll see how it is next week. I just don’t want to be the only one working for a better friendship, so I must see where he’s at too.
Last note: I have such a paranoia about my music choices! GAH! I love a lot of pop. I admit it. 90’s – mid-2000s, I’m totally there. Motion City Soundtrack, New Radicals, Garbage, I love you!
[mock me if you will, non-conforming conformist rock people!]