Time really isn’t separated into years and months and days, as I’m sure we all know. It oscillates between quick and painfully slow depending on our stimulation – whether we’re reading a good book or rushing around to our various meetings and classes and obligations. All subjective. We partition it because it’s hard to keep schedules running based on our experiences, but that’s truly what it comes down to.
We use the time around the New Year as a border between past and potential futures, regardless of whether it marks any sort of sea change in our personal lives. There are a million places I would partition this year differently, placing the New Year sticker on it, if I could base it off of my experiences. Instead, I have collected them, like marbles in a dish, for this moment of transition.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. Rather, I make bucket lists for every season, tallying up the minimum goals and notions that I would like to keep in mind for the duration of a few months. Draw one picture that you like (at least!). It keeps me from getting overly ambitious. And it helps me recognize that my time is a melange of collected experiences – each one a valued moment that deserves acknowledgement.
I guess that’s my way of ‘living in the moment.’ It’s fairly impossible to stay in the moment every step of the way, but being reminded of it never hurts. Rather, it orients me back to the center. Collecting my memories, collecting my goals, collecting my experiences. As I enter the New Year, I wonder what else I will be collecting in this 365 day span. Some of them are known: college graduation, for one. But some of them are only speculation. And while it is exciting, it is also nerve-wracking – this waiting for the shape of things to come.