Hey there, Jordan – long time, no see! Or writing, rather. How appropriate that the last post in this blog, over a month ago, was entitled ‘On Writing Nothing at All.’
This past month, I’ve been running downhill. I’ve hosted workshops at conferences, tabled at zine fests, been elected to club president, written over 30 pages of essays and exams, interviewed 15 people about Asian American psychology, and seen the President speak at our college’s commencement. Oh, and did I mention that I’m in Seattle for a brief week before flying to Bangladesh for two and a half months? Yeah, there’s that. I’m leading my own quiet life revolution and, unfortunately, I’ve had to sacrifice my writing time in favor of sleep. I know, I know, creative people should sacrifice for their art. But I enjoy being able to function, thank you very much.
Right now is an interesting time because I am resting in the space between adventures. While it is true that I’m working on a final research paper and reorienting myself to the west coast, it’s for a brief flickering instant. As short as this time is, I feel a bit of anxiety in this space. Nothing scheduled? Nowhere to explore? I was reading Sarah Wilson’s blog post about happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens and I totally resonated with the obsessive list-maker, adventure-seeking Sarah in her attempts to justify that happiness would come when something… well, happened.
But for now it’s just wilting into the Seattle backdrop, claiming a few hours of shut-eye, and preparation. What does a person like me feel when there’s nothing going on?
Well, it’s something like death.
But fortunately, as for the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes, a little death can be a good thing once in a while.
In a few weeks, I’ll be halfway around the world in another country and (hopefully) catching a very different energy than I have in my life in New York City. I’ll still be researching, but hopefully I’ll also be writing and reading (in that unstructured free way that someone described as joy). I’ll be exploring new lands, eating new foods, and hopefully recuperating from the run-yourself-into-the-ground burnout mode that I’ve been in since I hit Seattle soil. I plan to be blogging throughout the months that I’m overseas, though it may be on a less regular schedule due to internet connections. But the stories will be totally worth it.