I may be crazy, but I guess some things happen for a reason.
Yesterday was a medley of celebration and fear as we sashayed about town to commemorate the sun’s awakening, our upcoming Hare Hare Yukai performance, and some general life demands. Instead of working hard, I flounced about and tried to have some fun for once. Today was the same, except with a bit more work and a little more personal benefit. Walk for Aidan was quite awesome, and then I went to the trainer and hauled ass (literally, we worked on glutes today) as beginning my exercise/dietary goals. Then afterward I dozed and felt horrible for a few hours and finally decided to go to The Hairy Baby and loved to watch the strangeness and the common themes that flitted through a surrealistic setting [also, I love Monster – he sculpts busts! (again, literally)]
Now I’m sitting at home thinking that I should be able to devote 2 hours to myself every day. One for general exercise and well-being, the other for writing and creative thought. Just because… I think I’ve let my life go to other people or other commitments too much [I would say lately, but it’s really been all year] And so I’m going to start working on myself again, because (as my trainer would say) I’ve ‘fallen off the wagon’ in terms of appreciating the fact that I’m an ‘artist’ and a human being. I’m going to have to push to the end of the year in some things, but I can’t believe how much time I spend sitting around thinking to do something and then either being too scared or too stressed to do it. It’s something I really need to get rid of – hesitation.
And thus, with that effervescent glow about me, I’m going to retire to my bed. Goodnight.