The people you love are not always those that best care for you. And the people who care about you often are never appreciated.
I feel selfish putting myself in that second category sometimes. I think it is a truth that occurs with everyone, in many different situations. I can definitely see where it affects my own life, but where I affect others is completely subjective. And how could we really ever tell if we’re best caring for someone? Or what love is? Those are all too big of questions.
School is moving fabulously, started this week and already I can sort of feel out the rest of the year. I have a glimpse at some nice things, but there is always that feeling of searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. For now, it seems pretty far away. However, going to College Corps and working on different items in general has put me in the mode of anticipation.
However, I don’t feel that’s readily important. I’ve always managed my life in a manner most becoming [or at least I hope…] and thus school is the background noise to what I want to call “real life.” I have hung out with people for as many days as possible, and have started taking classes again [yoga, and a new belly dancing thing that I think I will continue] while also thinking on life in general. I’ve started reading Pablo Neruda again, after hearing a depressing announcement about my last math teacher. Anyway.
I can’t understand why I feel so strange. It’s one of those selfish things, I’m sure of it – thinking that people are getting things that I am not. I don’t know what I’m jealous of… nor do I have a clear understanding of what those things are. I just feel strangely hollow, like I want for someone or something to fill this space for me.
Maybe I should put up advertisements.
I feel selfish putting myself in that second category sometimes. I think it is a truth that occurs with everyone, in many different situations. I can definitely see where it affects my own life, but where I affect others is completely subjective. And how could we really ever tell if we’re best caring for someone? Or what love is? Those are all too big of questions.
School is moving fabulously, started this week and already I can sort of feel out the rest of the year. I have a glimpse at some nice things, but there is always that feeling of searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. For now, it seems pretty far away. However, going to College Corps and working on different items in general has put me in the mode of anticipation.
However, I don’t feel that’s readily important. I’ve always managed my life in a manner most becoming [or at least I hope…] and thus school is the background noise to what I want to call “real life.” I have hung out with people for as many days as possible, and have started taking classes again [yoga, and a new belly dancing thing that I think I will continue] while also thinking on life in general. I’ve started reading Pablo Neruda again, after hearing a depressing announcement about my last math teacher. Anyway.
I can’t understand why I feel so strange. It’s one of those selfish things, I’m sure of it – thinking that people are getting things that I am not. I don’t know what I’m jealous of… nor do I have a clear understanding of what those things are. I just feel strangely hollow, like I want for someone or something to fill this space for me.
Maybe I should put up advertisements.