Today has been a strangely slow day – which has made me anxious and reflective for most of it.The anxiety probably stems mostly from my inability to write this graduation speech (agh!). I have all the material that I want to talk about; I think I just burned out on flow from the mind-numbing repetition of the school day. However, it’s only 2:45pm, so I guess I can’t really complain about a time deficiency and “other commitments.”
The reflection (or perhaps, more accurately, introspection) has brought me a lot of thought on the future. Though it may be only the relatively near future, it’s still starting to get in my head. Things like:
– Testing starts in 1 week! –> I have to review! And then I will work on my goal of 1 knit square per day during testing season.
– The end of spring sports season is in 2 weeks! –> I must go back to the gym/keep up my workout regimen.
– Prom is in 3 weeks! –> I have to call in for reservations of things TODAY! And then organize people. And then buy tickets. And then explode.
The last day of real “school” follows that on June 18th and then graduation on June 22nd (speech!). And then it’s the summer and people are here and I don’t really have to worry all that much for a while… just a lot of hanging out, working on stuff, finishing self-projects, and having fun! I’m still really excited to get my housing stuff – I want it soon! But nothing that I talk about is really in the here and now. Everything is preceding something, and I’m anxious/charged up to get there. I am really terrible at focusing.
Looking up but not in, as it were.
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