440 pages.
That was the amount that I read in three days here. Not that I’m complaining, because it was for really enjoyable classes and I expected this semester to be harder than the last, but still! It feels like an astronomical calculation – amazingly, though I do wonder at it, I do not want to complain.
I have been slowly realizing what this year is about for me: gentle incorporation.
What does that mean? Well, for me, it means calmly and quietly bringing in some of those principles that I had previously tried to force into my life. My major examples:
– It’s not about sneaking in time to do something, it’s about choosing what you really want to do for that moment.
– Have a schedule, but always be willing to break it.
– Eat! Just make sure that you’re taking care of yourself at the same time.
– Write and read and create and smile when you want to. Just don’t force any of those things down your own throat!
– Take a few calm breaths before embarking on anything.
The difference between this and last year is that I’m realizing that if I try to impose something upon myself (like, write 500 words a day or something) it’s not the route that gets anything done. I guess I had read those articles about ‘habit-forming’ and such but taken them too closely to heart. When I came stumbled upon 2010, I had an enlightenment – what if we were easy on ourselves?
It makes me happy to note that I have a lot of stuff that I want to do and will make time to do it. In my slower moments, I hope that I can continue to do it; the future is not going to be nearly as busy as this (unless I have something to do with it!) and so I need to start self-motivating in a way that doesn’t drain me of my senses.
Anyway, this is a momentary pause in between the ledgers of different classes, assignments and understandings. So now I must fly!
One thought to “Momentary Pauses”
Fantastic thoughts, Jordan. I think you hit upon one source of my constant panic attacks in the fall – I was always thinking about what I *must* do and how I have no time to do what I *want* to do. Self-reflection and rearrangement of priorities helped a lot.
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